Why Does the Same Shit Keep Happening to Me?
Bottom Line Up Front: You're not stuck in reality—you're creating it. Your mind operates as a quantum selection mechanism, choosing your experience from infinite possibilities based on programming installed before you were seven. That's why the same patterns keep showing up no matter how hard you try to change. Understanding this mechanism is the first step to breaking free from the endless loop of same shit, different day.
Why does the same shit keep happening to you?
Seriously. Different job, same asshole boss. New relationship, same old problems. More money, same stress about bills.
You've tried everything. Read the books. Done the therapy. Meditated until your vision board caught fire. But somehow you end up in the exact same place, feeling the exact same way.
Maybe you blame the economy. Or your ex. Or your parents. Or Mercury in f'ing retrograde.
But deep down, in that place where truth lives, you know something else is going on. Because it can't be coincidence that you keep attracting the same situations, the same types of people, the same disappointments dressed up in different costumes.
Modern Physics to the rescue!
Your Mind: The Reality Selection Machine Nobody Told You About
Quantum physics shares what should have changed everything we believe about consciousness.
At the subatomic level, particles don't exist in one fixed state. They exist in what's called superposition—all possible states simultaneously—until the moment of observation.
The act of observing literally collapses infinite possibilities into one specific reality.
Not metaphorically. Actually.
This isn't some new-age interpretation. This is proven physics that won Nobel Prizes. Scientists have run thousands of experiments, and the results are always the same: reality doesn't exist in a fixed state until consciousness observes it.
Now here's where it gets wild.
Your mind works the same way.
Every second, your unconscious mind processes 11 million bits of information from your environment. Sights, sounds, smells, sensations, energy patterns—a massive flood of data about what's possible in each moment.
But your conscious mind? It can only handle about 50-126 bits per second.
Do the math. That's 0.0000122% of available reality.
Imagine standing in front of a massive library with 11 million books. Your mind has to select which 50 books you'll actually read. The other 10,999,950 books? They exist, but they're not part of your experience.
This isn't filtering. This is SELECTION.
Your mind isn't just reducing information. It's literally selecting which slice of infinite possibility becomes your reality. Just like observing a quantum particle causes it to collapse from all possible states into one actual state, your consciousness collapses infinite possible experiences into the one experience you're having.
The question that should be keeping you up at night: What's doing the selecting?
The Programming That's Running Your Life
Here's the part that changes everything: The selection isn't random. It's not based on what you consciously want. It's based on programming that was installed in your brain before you were seven years old, and expanded ever since thanks to neuroplasticity.
Before you developed critical thinking. Before you could question what you were told. Before you could protect yourself from other people's fears, limitations, and trauma, your programming was happening in full force.
Your brain was like a computer with a fresh hard drive, and everything and everyone around you was installing software. Your parents' money fears. Your family's relationship patterns. Your culture's beliefs about what's possible and what's not. The mean little kids taunting you, the clique you wanted to be part of shunning you.
By age seven, the foundation of your core programming was complete. Your reality selection mechanism was calibrated.
And it's been running ever since. Shifting and adding more programs, most of them slotting neatly beneath the core programs of what you already believe.
Think about it.
When you were five and dad lost his job, your brain recorded: "Money disappears without warning."
When mom stayed with dad even though he made her cry, your brain noted: "Love means suffering."
When you showed excitement and got told to "calm down," your software updated: "Big energy is dangerous."
In my case, the torturous abuse created programs that it took me decades to find and understand. A few examples?
I have to be perfect or I'm at risk of dying. After all, they almost killed me more than once and the "punishment" was always when I broke their rules for perfection, which changed constantly.
Life brings the worst case, expect it. Believe me, that cellar and what happened to me was beyond worst case for a kid, for an adult for that matter.
God doesn't love me or he would have saved me. I was raised in the church and my mom taught me that giving to others made God love me. I prayed and prayed in that cellar for god to let me die, or to stop them. He didn't so I decided that he didn't love me. So I gave more and more to try to earn His love.
These weren't conscious thoughts. They were survival programs. My young brain's attempt to keep me safe by understanding the rules of reality.
The problem? My brain was still running that 40-year-old software. So is yours, although it's most likely not as traumatic as mine was.
Still - think about the things that trigger you, then ask yourself, "Where the hell did that come from." It's all part of your programming.
How Your Quantum Selector Really Works
Every nanosecond—that's one billionth of a second—your brain is making selections from the quantum field of infinite possibilities. And it's using your childhood programming as the selection criteria.
It works like this:
Your unconscious mind scans the 11 million bits of available information. Your programming acts like a search algorithm, looking for what's "familiar" and "safe" according to your unique, totally individual perception of reality.
If your programming says "money is scarce," your mind selects evidence of scarcity from the quantum field. It literally doesn't see the abundance opportunities. They exist in the 11 million bits, but they don't make it through to your conscious 50 bits.
If your programming says "I have to work hard to be worthy," your selector finds the hardest possible path to success. Easier opportunities exist in the quantum field, but your mechanism can't select them. They violate the programming.
You're not unlucky. You're not cursed. You're just selecting the same reality over and over because that's what your programming tells your quantum mind to do.
The Quantum Entanglement That Keeps You Stuck
Here's where quantum physics gets even more revealing about your patterns.
In quantum mechanics, once particles interact, they become entangled. What's entangled? Imagine changing one particle, one tiny instance of reality. The entangled particles respond instantly, regardless of distance. Every entangled particle changes when one changes.
Einstein called it "spooky action at a distance." Your beliefs work the same way.
When you believe something deeply enough, long enough, with enough emotional intensity, you create quantum entanglement between that belief and your reality. Your thoughts and experiences become quantumly linked.
Your seven-year-old self created entanglements between beliefs and reality along the lines of:
"Working hard" got entangled with "being valuable"
"Going along with the crowd" got entangled with "being liked"
"Having less" got entangled with "being loved"
Now, decades later, these entanglements are still active. Every time you try to select a different reality—one where you're valuable without killing yourself, safe without perfection, loved with abundance—the entanglement pulls you back.
It's not that you're weak. It's that you're fighting quantum physics with willpower.
Why Therapy Doesn't Always Help
I spent most of my life in therapy. Started when I was 13, nobody caught the fact that I was being abused. How could they? My family was church going, a pillar of the community. As I grew older and was professionally successful, not one therapist questioned my excuses for my Shit.
I spent two decades in therapy understanding my patterns, analyzing my childhood, exploring every angle of my pain. The result? I understood everything perfectly and still selected the same toxic relationships, the same self-sabotage, the same limitations. Why? Because all that analysis was literally adding concrete around my programming instead of releasing it.
When I recovered the memories and went back to them, not one of them ever imagined I was abused.
That's the power of your unconscious mind to protect you. I fooled myself and experts for decades - until I was in a light hypnotic trance for the first time and it all poured forth.
Here's what I believe today regarding our minds and therapy, based on personal experience, client experience, science and some ancient wisdom.
Left-brained therapy can actually strengthen the patterns you're trying to break. Here's the trap: When you revisit negative experiences again and again, analyzing them, diving deeper into the pain, you're not releasing them—you're reinforcing them. Every time you retell the story, explore the trauma, examine the pattern, you're focusing on it. And focus strengthens programs.
For many beliefs, affirmations and positive thinking work beautifully—I use them myself to shift programming. If it's a belief programmed by society or casual repetition, you can absolutely overlay new thoughts with focused effort. Even for deeper beliefs—the ones created with any high-intensity emotion—fear, anger, hurt, shame, or trauma—they can help, but they need more focus, more time, and often additional support.
EMDR and similar therapies can backfire with deep trauma. I am NOT saying EMDR is bad. I'm saying you have to be thoughtful about it. Here's why. When I used EMDR for my childhood trauma, we went after the torture experiences in detail, reliving them in trance states. Instead of releasing the trauma, it imprinted it deeper. I was literally strengthening the neural pathways and quantum entanglements I was trying to break. The more vividly I relived it, the more real and present it became in my selection mechanism. I got worse, not better. And I did that twice a week for almost TWO years. Think about that. Bringing up revelations is one thing. Wallowing in their every detail can be just plain dangerous.
Willpower exhausts because you're fighting your own quantum processor. Ever notice how willpower works great Monday morning but fails by Friday night? That's because you're trying to consciously override an unconscious selection system processing 11 million bits per second. It's like trying to stop a river with your hands.
Understanding intellectually doesn't equal releasing energetically. This is the biggest trap. Your conscious mind loves to understand, analyze, make connections. "Oh, I choose unavailable partners because dad was emotionally distant." Great insight. Changes nothing. Because understanding is just another form of focus, and focus on the problem strengthens the problem. The unconscious doesn't need to understand—it needs to release and replace.
That's why affirmations alone may not shift the deepest patterns. That's why positive thinking needs extra support for trauma-based programming.
The truth? You can't fix a quantum problem with Newtonian solutions.
The Truth That Changes Everything
Here's what this all means:
You're not broken. Your quantum selection mechanism is working perfectly. It's doing exactly what it was programmed to do: select familiar realities that match your baseline understanding of how the world works.
You're not unlucky. There's no cosmic force working against you. You're just really, really good at selecting the same slice of reality from infinite possibilities.
You're not limited.
The money exists in the quantum field.
The love exists.
The health exists.
The success exists.
All of it, right there in the limitless potentiality swirling around you every second. You just can't select it because your mechanism is calibrated to select something else.
Most Importantly: You're Not Stuck.
Here's the truth about programming—it can be changed. Just as quantum entanglements can be broken and reformed. Just as your reality selection mechanism can be recalibrated.
The same neuroplasticity that wired these patterns can rewire them. The same quantum principles that created your current reality can create a completely different one.
But first, you have to understand what's really happening. You have to see the true mechanism, not just the limitations that society has given you as a program. You have to realize that you're not fighting reality—you're creating it, nanosecond by nanosecond, through a selection process you didn't even know existed.
Until NOW.
Now you can see that every moment contains infinite possibilities, and you've just been selecting the same ones over and over like a cosmic Groundhog Day.
Now you understand why trying harder in the same direction just creates more of the same reality.
Now you get why other people seem to have it easier—they're simply running different selection software they created. Every one of us has unique programs which is why no two of us experience the same reality, even standing next to each other.
The game isn't rigged. You've just been playing with an invisible rulebook, written by your experiences at a young age, reinforced, adapted and expanded through life itself.
The Choice Point
So here you are. At the moment where everything could change.
You can close this article and go back to believing you're stuck, that reality is fixed, that some people are just luckier than others. Your quantum selector will keep running its familiar programs, and you'll keep getting the same results.
No judgment—that's a valid choice.
Or you can sit with this mind-bending truth:
You are a quantum creator, selecting your reality from infinite possibilities based on outdated programming. The same physics that runs the universe runs your consciousness. And that means the power to change your reality isn't out there somewhere—it's in the selection mechanism between your ears.
The patterns aren't happening to you. You're selecting them. Nanosecond by nanosecond. Choice by choice. From infinite other possibilities you could be choosing instead.
That relationship that looks exactly like the last one? You selected it from billions of other possibilities.
That financial ceiling you can't seem to break? You're selecting it, precisely, consistently, from unlimited other options.
That health issue that won't resolve? Selected from a field where vibrant health also exists.
I know this might be hard to swallow. Part of you might be angry. "I didn't SELECT cancer/bankruptcy/abandonment!"
I get it. Your conscious mind didn't. Your programming did. It’s been running the selection show all along.
But here's the freedom you get from learning this truth: If you're selecting it, you can select something else. You can change your programming.
Through understanding and reprogramming the quantum selection mechanism itself—using whatever tools work for your specific programming. For many patterns, positive thinking, mantras, and vision boards work beautifully. For the most emotionally-charged beliefs—whether from trauma, intense fear, deep hurt, or any high-emotion experience—you might need additional approaches.
The same shit keeps happening because you keep selecting it. Period.
But that also means something else—something that changes everything:
You can change your mind.
[In next week's newsletter: Now that you understand you're creating your reality through quantum selection, I'll share some ideas on how to reprogram your selector and start choosing different possibilities from the infinite field. You can and will change your life. I did, my clients do it all the time. It’s within your power!]
