Trust: The Invisible Currency Your Mind Craves
Bottom Line Up Front: Trust isn't just a soft skill—it's a neurological currency that determines strategic success, team performance, and competitive advantage. Leaders who master trust-building in our digitally-fractured world unlock superior collaboration, faster decision-making, and sustainable high performance while their competitors remain trapped in costly survival-mode thinking that kills innovation and destroys business relationships.
We've all felt it. That sinking feeling when someone breaks their word. Your heart drops, your stomach tightens, and suddenly you're questioning what you believe about that person—and maybe others too.
What you're feeling is not just the emotion of disappointment. It's your brain literally switching into threat mode.
We talk about trust like it's some soft, touchy-feely concept—a "nice-to-have" in business and life. But here's the truth.
Trust is the invisible currency that powers everything.
Every high-performing team, every lasting relationship, every leap of innovation depends on trust.
Lose it, and you'll feel the cost in ways no spreadsheet can capture. Build it, and you unlock dividends that compound across every aspect of your life.
In our hyperconnected, always-on world, trust has become both more critical and more fragile than ever.
Your ancient brain—designed for small tribes, not global networks—is struggling to adapt to this brave new world.
Your Brain on Trust: The Neurochemical Reality
Trust isn't just a feeling. It's a neurochemical event happening in your brain, every single time you interact with another being.
When you're with someone you trust—whether it's your business partner, your spouse, or your best friend—your brain releases oxytocin, often called the "bonding hormone." This magical chemical increases empathy, openness, and that warm feeling of connection. Your prefrontal cortex stays calm and engaged, allowing for creative thinking and collaboration.
But the moment your brain detects betrayal or deception? Everything changes.
Your amygdala—that ancient alarm system—starts screaming. It floods your system with cortisol and adrenaline, triggering your survival mind. Your heart races, your muscles tense, and your thinking narrows to one focus: protect yourself from this threat.
Here's the kicker.
Your brain can't tell the difference between a saber-toothed tiger and a colleague who didn't follow through on their promise.
Both register as threats to your survival. In the same exact manner.
The idea that trust powers outcomes isn't just theory.
Companies with high trust levels see 50% higher productivity, 76% more engagement, and 40% less burnout, according to research from Harvard Business Review.
In relationships, decades of research from the Gottman Institute confirms that trust is the single best predictor of long-term satisfaction and stability.
In business deals, trust acceleration cuts negotiation time by 60-80% - I've seen this firsthand in hundreds of launches where trust determined speed to market.
Your brain literally performs better when it feels safe to trust those and the world around you.
How Our Modern World Destroys Trust
Our ancestors lived in groups of 50-150 people. They could look each other in the eye, shake hands, and build trust through consistent, face-to-face interactions over years.
And here we are, modern humans trying to navigate a world of thousands of digital connections, conflicting information streams, and relationships mediated by screens.
No wonder we're all struggling.
The Digital Trust Apocalypse
Social media promised to connect us. Instead, it's created the perfect storm for trust destruction:
Echo chambers that make us suspicious of anyone who thinks differently.
Misinformation that makes it impossible to know what's truth vs alternative truth.
Digital interactions that strip away the nonverbal cues our brains need to assess trustworthiness.
24/7 outrage cycles that keep our amygdalae in constant activation.
According to MIT research, false information spreads six times faster on social media than truth. Your brain, designed to detect threats, interprets this chaos as danger everywhere.
BUSINESS REALITY: When social media first started, I warned my investors about this exact scenario. I shared that giving users the ability to comment and share content without validating their identities opened the door to less than honest humans to create havoc.
Fast forward to today. There are more bots on Facebook than ever, programmed to post false and inflammatory information as "truth." These same bots comment on posts in ways specifically designed to be inflammatory... they basically throw chum into the comment boxes on hot topics that their owners disagree with—and watch the conversation devolve into a blood bath.
Which is why I'm on Facebook less and less, I manage my stream tightly and I refuse to read comments. I also BLOCK the astounding number of bots in my stream that are there uninvited. How to spot a bot? Low number of followers, sparse profile, few real images that look like what a normal human would post and inflammatory comments and posts without any factual proof of source or evidence. You'll often find them posting links to supposed evidence that is, itself, fake.
It's quite simple. The more time you spend on Facebook and most social, the less you will trust. And that is NOT a good thing for humans. It's your choice.
The Remote Work Trust Challenge
COVID-19 didn't just threaten our health—it shattered our trust-building mechanisms. Suddenly, we had to build and maintain trust through Zoom screens and Slack messages.
The subtle cues your brain uses to assess trustworthiness—body language, micro-expressions, energy—disappeared overnight. Remote work can be amazing, but it's a neuroscience nightmare for trust-building.
Simple example? We've all read an email from someone and perceived something totally different than their intent. Now imagine operating on a day-to-day basis with about the same level of "connection." It's not healthy nor is it productive.
The Authority Trust Meltdown
Global trust in institutions—government, business, media—is at historic lows. The Edelman Trust Barometer shows that most people no longer trust the very systems that are supposed to protect and serve them.
When you can't trust the big systems, your brain becomes hypervigilant about the small ones too.
That colleague who's five minutes late to a meeting? Your amygdala whispers: "See? You can't trust anyone."
MY TRUST OPERATING SYSTEM: I have many reasons not to trust based on life experiences that are extreme. Yet still, I believe that the only way to live in this world is to TRUST. Which means I had to learn how to give trust without totally giving trust. Here's how.
I assume people I know and respect are trustworthy, but I watch the behavior and see it clearly, no more making excuses. When a behavior breaks trust, I note it. When it happens 3 times—the trust is no longer part of the relationship and I determine whether or not to continue.
I want to believe new people I meet have the potential to be trusted. I watch the behavior closely, don't assume anything and focus on seeing the truth about their trustworthiness clearly. NO making excuses for the behaviors I see. Which has been a pattern that caused me a lot of pain in my life. NO EXCUSES anymore.
I do not trust anything I read on Social Media. PERIOD.
I fact check mainstream US media, and usually I go offshore for my news because it is just plain more factual and less biased.
I know, it's disheartening. Yet if you want to live in your own best self, trust is a critical component and you need to be thoughtful about who and what you trust in our modern world. We are not in the clan anymore!
The Devastating Cost of Lost Trust
When trust breaks down, it's not just an emotional problem—it's a neurological crisis that kills business performance.
In your brain: Threat detection goes into overdrive. Your prefrontal cortex—responsible for logic, creativity, and collaboration—takes a backseat to survival mode. You become suspicious, reactive, and closed off to new possibilities.
In teams: Communication becomes guarded. Innovation dies because people won't take risks. Collaboration turns into self-protection. According to research, even one trust breach can poison an entire team's performance.
In business relationships: I've watched multimillion-dollar deals collapse not because of strategy or terms, but because someone's amygdala decided the other party couldn't be trusted. The moment your brain labels a business partner as untrustworthy, every negotiation becomes a battle instead of a collaboration.
In your body: Chronic mistrust keeps you in a state of low-level stress. Your cortisol levels stay elevated, suppressing your immune system and contributing to everything from heart disease to depression.
You weren't designed to live in constant survival mode. But that's exactly what happens when trust erodes.
The Trust Death Spiral: How It All Falls Apart
Trust rarely dies in one dramatic moment. It bleeds out through a thousand small cuts:
Broken promises ("I'll get back to you" becomes radio silence)
Inconsistency (different rules for different people)
Lack of transparency (information hoarding and hidden agendas)
Betrayal of confidence (sharing what was meant to be private)
Dishonesty (even "little white lies" register as threats)
Each breach teaches your brain that this person, this system, this situation is unsafe. Your amygdala files it away as evidence: "Remember this. Don't trust them next time."
The most insidious part? Once your brain labels someone as untrustworthy, it starts looking for evidence to confirm that belief. Every neutral interaction gets interpreted through the lens of suspicion.
BUSINESS EXAMPLE: I once had a client who consistently showed up 10-15 minutes late to our strategy sessions. Small thing, right? But my brain started interpreting this as evidence that he didn't value our work. When he later questioned one of my recommendations, my amygdala was primed to see it as an attack rather than legitimate business discussion. It took conscious rewiring to separate the lateness pattern from his actual business respect for our partnership.
Rebuilding Trust: Rewiring Your Mind for Connection
Like EVERYTHING ELSE IN YOUR MIND, trust can be rebuilt. Your mind's neuroplasticity—the same process that wired in mistrust—can rewire trust again.
But it takes more than good intentions. It requires understanding how your mind works and deliberately creating new neural pathways.
The Neuroscience of Trust Repair
Research shows that forgiveness and positive interactions can literally "reset" your brain's threat response. But this doesn't happen overnight.
Your amygdala needs consistent evidence that it's safe to trust again.
Here's how to reclaim your trust—and build it with others.
1. Acknowledge the Breach (And Own Your Part)
Your brain needs to hear acknowledgment before it can begin to heal. A real apology isn't just "I'm sorry"—it's:
Specific acknowledgment of what happened
Taking full responsibility (no "buts" or excuses)
Expressing genuine understanding of the impact
Why this works: Your amygdala interprets accountability as safety. It signals that the person understands the threat they created and is working to eliminate it.
BUSINESS EXAMPLE: Early in my career, I promised a client we'd have their product launch analysis by Friday. Thursday night, I realized we needed more data and wouldn't make the deadline. Instead of hoping they wouldn't notice or making excuses, I called immediately: "I committed to Friday delivery and I'm not going to make it. I underestimated the research complexity. This impacts your board presentation timing, and I take full responsibility. Here's what I'm doing to fix it." That client hired me for three more projects because my accountability actually built trust.
2. Create Transparency Overdrive
Information hoarding triggers your brain's threat detection. Radical transparency does the opposite—it signals safety and trustworthiness.
In practice: Share information proactively. Explain your thinking. Let people see behind the curtain, even when it's uncomfortable.
Why this works: Your mind trusts what it can predict. Transparency creates predictability.
BUSINESS APPLICATION: I learned this lesson the hard way during a major product launch that was heading toward disaster. The technology wasn't working as promised, the launch date was slipping, but leadership was trying to manage perception by sharing only positive updates. I finally called a "brutal truth" meeting with all stakeholders: "Here's exactly what's broken, here's what we don't know yet, here's our real timeline." It was terrifying to expose the problems, but that radical transparency actually rallied the team. They started contributing solutions instead of protecting themselves. We saved the launch because trust replaced fear.
3. Master the Small Commitments
Don't try to rebuild trust with grand gestures. Your amygdala pays attention to consistency in small things.
In practice: Say what you'll do, do what you say, when you said you'd do it. Every time. Start with tiny commitments and build up.
Why this works: Each kept promise is a data point for your mind that this person is reliable. Small, consistent evidence outweighs big, sporadic gestures.
BUSINESS PATTERN: I have a simple rule: if I tell someone I'll call them back in an hour, I call back in 55 minutes. If I say I'll send something by end of day, they get it by 4 PM. These micro-commitments might seem insignificant, but they're building trust deposits every single time. Clients often tell me they know they can count on me because I do what I say I'll do—even with tiny things.
Weekly check-ins work magic here: Schedule 15-minute weekly touchpoints with key business relationships. Use them to report on small commitments kept, challenges encountered, and next week's promises. Your brain learns: "This person is predictable and reliable."
4. Practice Emotional Regulation
When trust is broken, emotions run high. But rebuilding requires calm, consistent interaction over time.
The technique: When you feel your amygdala activating (heart racing, defensive thoughts), pause. Take three deep breaths. Remind yourself: "My mind is trying to protect me, but right now I'm safe."
Why this works: You can't rebuild trust from survival mode. Emotional regulation keeps your prefrontal cortex online for rational decision-making.
BUSINESS EXAMPLE: During a particularly heated board meeting where my strategy was being challenged aggressively, I felt my survival mind kick in—heart racing, defensive responses forming. Instead of reacting, I took three slow breaths and said: "I can see this approach is raising concerns. Let me step back and understand what you're seeing that I might be missing." That pause shifted the entire dynamic from attack/defend to collaborative problem-solving.
MY PERSONAL TRUST PRACTICE: I do a weekly trust inventory: Who am I trusting that I shouldn't? Who am I not trusting that I should? What evidence am I ignoring or overweighting? This conscious review helps me catch when my amygdala is driving trust decisions instead of my wisdom.
Mind Shift: From Suspicion to Discernment
There's a difference between healthy caution and trauma-based hypervigilance. Here's how to tell them apart:
Suspicion (amygdala-driven):
Assumes negative intent
Looks for evidence of untrustworthiness
Creates rigid rules and walls
Feels heavy and exhausting
Discernment (prefrontal cortex-guided):
Observes patterns without assuming intent
Gathers information before judging
Maintains flexibility and openness
Feels alert but calm
The shift: When you catch yourself in suspicion mode, pause and ask: "What would I need to see or hear to feel safe enough to give this person/situation another chance?" Then look for that evidence.
Trust in the Age of Overwhelm
Building trust in our helter-skelter world means we need to devise new strategies for our ancient brains. Here's what I've learned that helps me thread that needle.
Digital Boundaries: Limit your exposure to trust-eroding information streams. Your brain can't handle the constant influx of betrayal, corruption, and conflict from news and social media.
Face-to-Face Priority: Whenever possible, have important conversations in person or video. Your brain needs those nonverbal cues to assess trustworthiness accurately.
BUSINESS PRACTICE: How we got away from personal contact is beyond me. It doesn't have to be in the flesh, it can be on ZOOM for heaven's sake. I now require video calls for any business relationship that matters. Text and email are for logistics, not trust-building. Spend your time Zooming with colleagues instead of doomscrolling Facebook for a week. Believe me, you will feel the difference.
Slow Trust: In our instant-everything culture, remember that real trust builds slowly. Don't rush the process.
MINDSET SHIFT: In our high-speed, instant gratification world, we've all been programmed with a need for speed—about everything. Time to break that habit. For trust, and for your life in general. I consciously stopped the rush to finish anything I started and learned to slow down. I started by focusing on my mind time while I was working on anything. Lordy, what I heard. FASTER, MORE, RUSH, RUSH, ON TO THE NEXT THING WHATEVER IT MIGHT BE. Little focus on the work, mostly on the next thing and the next and the next. RUSHING through whatever I was doing to get to the next whatever—and most of the time I didn't even know what was next.
Slow down, focus in the moment on what you are doing, bring your energy back to the moment and ENJOY what you're doing.
The same goes for trust. STOP trying to make immediate judgments about people. TAKE back your power and KNOW that you are perfectly fine without making that call right away. Pay attention and watch the person's actions—not the words, the actions. THEN—LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR MIND TELLS YOU. And don't make excuses for them once you see the truth clearly.
Community Investment: Find your tribe—the small group of people you can genuinely trust. Invest deeply in those relationships rather than trying to trust everyone everywhere.
MY TRUST CIRCLE: After 30+ years in business, I've learned that your real wealth isn't in your network—it's in your trust circle. I maintain deep relationships with maybe 15 people who I trust completely and who trust me the same way. These relationships have been more valuable than any business strategy, any technology, any market advantage. When you find people you can trust fully, invest everything in those relationships.
The Bottom Line
Trust isn't just a value you hold or a feeling you have. It's a neurological necessity for peak performance, deep relationships, and mental health.
In a world where trust is under assault from every direction, those who understand how to build and protect it—both in themselves and others—will have a massive advantage.
Your brain craves trust like it craves food and sleep. When you learn to create environments where trust can flourish, you unlock your mind's full potential for collaboration, creativity, and connection.
The choice is yours: Will you let a broken world break your ability to trust? Or will you become someone who builds trust so skillfully that others feel safe enough to be their best selves around you?
In a trust-starved world, trust isn't just a feeling—it's your competitive advantage.
