Speaking of Dumbing Down…. I once read a supposedly satirical article, 9 Non -Threatening Leadership Strategies for Women. I laughed when I first read it. But then it got me thinking…and I keep thinking about it in my personal and professional life.
Are we still dumbing down to avoid upsetting the egos of others? I catch myself doing it, still. What about you?
The Dumbing Down of Me
The first time I dumbed myself down was when I was in 3rd grade. The kids made so much fun of me because I was smart. So I gave incorrect answers on a test. My teacher knew, right away. When I got home, there was hell to pay. Luckily, my mom didn’t believe in women dumbing down. She may have been southern but she was progressive:)
As I got older, I learned the process of strategically dumbing down. In college I threw a few tests. Not enough to change my grade but enough so that I didn’t threaten the guy I was dating. Who by the way didn’t show up for the wedding even after all that dumbing down. Not exactly the result I had in mind.
When I entered the workforce, I really learned about dumbing down. I was the only girl in the room…surrounded my much older and wiser men. At least that’s what they thought. I was quickly trounced whenever I raised my head to speak. “Now honey, you’re young so let us teach you…” I didn’t know what else to do so I played the game. For a while. But sooner or later my righteous indignation over some just plain silly idea would get the better of me, and I’d open my mouth. That earned me nicknames like Rebel for Any Cause, Angry Fluff and worse.
I left the corporate world abruptly at the age of 29. I was fired from a job for opening my mouth and standing up to a male chauvinist who had just told me to sleep with him or lose my biggest account in my territory. Yep, I got fired and he got a promotion… That was way back in the day…
Here’s the funny thing. As soon as I was on the Outside of the company, instead of on the Inside, I suddenly became brilliant. I didn’t change. The threat of me did. Since I was now a consultant, it was ok for me to ask the tough questions, make the hard comments, dig into that which no one really wanted to admit.
Yep, perception is a very powerful thing.
The Authenticity of Smart
Why should women have to be the careful ones, with our phrases, our words, our tone? Men say really strong stuff to each other all the time, swaggering around and head butting like rams fighting over a dam.
Why Do We Women Have to Be So Careful?
Because that’s the way the traditional world was programmed. Less than a century ago women couldn’t vote, have jobs, own much of anything and were there to be silent. As I tell my clients, you can’t change deeply programmed traditional beliefs and behaviors over night.
But we CAN take the first step.
I say it’s time we stop dumbing down. Instead, let’s step up to the Authenticity of Smart.
I meet more and more people who like smart women. Who think we have strong value as counterparts to men. After all, we were created male and female to offer a 360 degree skill set. Together, we have the capability to take on the world and advance our race. Women were given a brain that can think and be smart, just like men. The only challenge has been our programming, til now.
Stepping Into Smart
Afraid to step into smart? Don’t be. Here are some ideas to begin…
- Speak up in a meeting about the idea from that person who is so touchy. Be kind, be factual but step up and be smart.
- Instead of tiptoeing around the due dates or requirements from your team, write them on the whiteboard and be specific. If someone misses their date, don’t give them a bye. Make it the last time they don’t deliver for you. And FYI – you don’t have to throw a fit and stomp and yell. A whisper can be a very powerful thing. Try it.
- When you have an idea, speak up. Put the idea out on the table for all to discuss. Do not be emotional… that idea is not your kid. Be objective. Use the logic that brought the idea to you to explain it. Then treat it just like someone else’s idea. You stepped up to smart when you put it on the table.
Dealing with a bully boss? Or someone who is threatened by you? Don’t dumb yourself down to please them! Here are tips to be smart in that scenario too.
The Bottom Line
It’s time we women stepped up to be authentic and smart. If we’re going to be role models for others, let’s be authentic role models. If we’re going to be leaders, let’s be authentic leaders who show our true selves even as we respect the authentic selves of others.
Using the powerful and unique capabilities inherent within us, we can and do make businesses more successful. That’s a proven fact.
We just need to believe in and bring our authentic selves to the table.
Here’s to the Authentic and Oh So Smart You!
